(Published in "Manke · Novel" VOL.32)

"Hello, hybrid audience worldwide! Of course, if you are a pureblood watching this program, we are also very happy..." The male host enters, wearing a black suit with a red rose in his chest pocket, his face glowing with enthusiasm.

"Today is the Cassell Academy special program 'If You Are The One', hosted by the Office of the Dean! I am the host, Fingal von Frings! As for the female host beside me, given that she has already died in the normal timeline, you can treat her as a tombstone. Tombstones don't need introductions, right? They have words on them. Now, let's cut to a commercial..."

(Commercial screen: Background music "I have a little donkey I never ride..." plays—"Going to the market!" Sir Hankel enters riding a donkey wearing a cowboy hat, "Looking for houses, antiques, alchemy equipment, sheepskin scrolls, buying and selling mummies! Go to Sotheby's Auction House for targeted auctions! We have everything there!")

"Screw you!" Female host Xia Mi kicks Fingal in the face. "Don't change lines on your own! Have your worldview, sense of honor, and sense of shame all been fed to dogs? Where is your professional ethics as a host?"

"Then where is your professional ethics as a Dragon King?" Fingal smirks. "In the subway battle, if not for your ambiguous relationship with Chu Zihang, confessing your feelings when victory was in hand, you would have killed him with one strike! Half of the world's hybrid elites would have perished in Beijing, this book would have ended long ago, 'Shoe Insole' wouldn't need to rush drafts, and Jiang Nan wouldn't need to stay up late! The world would be destroyed! Everyone would return to the Stone Age happily leaning on cows!"

"Bullshit! If the Dragon Race revived, would you still have cows to roast? You'd just be a slave for this little grandaunt! And you're hosting a show with me? You're only fit to kneel and lick my toes!" Xia Mi gets angry, putting on a serious face. "Fine! Let me seriously say I am a very professional Dragon King! Is it easy for me? To restore the Dragon Race, I even used seduction! I was schoolmates with Chu Zihang for so many years, such a handsome guy, can look but can't eat, for what? Isn't it for my people? How much did I, a beautiful girl, sacrifice!"

Fingal (facepalm): "Not tsundere anymore, revealing the true colors of a lovesick fool..."

(A tide of tomatoes flies from the audience; these ripe tomatoes are so dense they collide in mid-air, turning into fresh tomato sauce.)

Fingal (facing the tide of tomatoes from the audience without changing expression): "Told you to stick to the theme! Now look what happened?" (Looks Xia Mi up and down) "As a rough German man, I don't mind being covered in ketchup, but as a little female dragon, wouldn't it be embarrassing to be painted tomato red?" (Gloating face) "Tsk tsk!"

Xia Mi: "Spirit: Wind King's Pupil!"

One minute later, the male host, shredded by the tomato tornado, stands next to the female host in a white T-shirt and Bohemian skirt, who looks as if she is bathed in sunlight. He smiles: "Am I afraid of mere ketchup? Did I tell you the story of how I once received enough chocolate sauce to spread on breakfast bread for a year?"

Xia Mi nods: "You did, just didn't expect how you received it... Back to business, today's theme isn't your romance memorial service, Senior Brother! It's our 'If You Are The One' dating show! Next, let's welcome the beautiful female guests and handsome male guests—"

Background music plays, and the flamboyant female guests appear one by one. Some are wearing Cassell Academy uniform skirts, a few are in hot tight bodysuits, there is also a mature woman in a silk nightgown, and another holding half a sweater she hasn't finished knitting... Sweater? Before there is time to examine the female guests closely, the audience's attention is drawn to the male guest slowly descending from the center of the stage in an elevator.

The first to appear is Cassell Academy's only S-rank, the legendary ultimate ace, student Lu Mingfei!!

Lu Mingfei (bows): "Hello Senior Brother, hello Tombstone Junior Sister, I am Lu Mingfei. I am very happy to be here tonight to join everyone..."

Xia Mi interrupts impatiently: "STOP STOP!! Senior Brother, your opening is too cliché! Cut straight to the point! (Flips through script) Senior Brother Lu Mingfei, what are your special skills?"

Lu Mingfei (shakes head shyly): "Special skills? Nothing much, I rely on cheating every time I slay a dragon, HP always down to half; I smashed 100 million USD to buy a Swiss Army Knife—oh no, Seven Deadly Sins—to act cool; but the money isn't mine; Cassell Academy's Black Card is cool, but when I use it to treat high school classmates to dinner during summer break, it gets frozen on the spot, making me lose face, and I had to rely on my good buddy Brother Chu to save the situation... oh right, I also invented the popular phrase 'I cassell you'... besides that, I'm just good at playing StarCraft!!"

All female guests turn off their lights.

Fingal (awkward laugh): "Don't be like that, Junior Brother, you're just a bit green and a bit too honest. Playing StarCraft isn't a bad hobby, right? That's e-sports! International tournaments!! Many people in Beijing internet cafes call him Teacher Lu... Cough, let's bring out the next male guest. The second male guest is a tall, reliable, mature, scholarly yet innocent successful man! Please welcome—Professor Guderian!!"

Professor Guderian wears black trousers and a white lab coat, his glasses wiped shiny bright, looking quite scholarly. You can't see the middle-aged buffoon he usually is at all, which relieves Manstein sitting in the audience.

However, student Xia 'Tombstone' Mi's question remains incredibly spicy: "Hello Professor, please introduce your age and relationship status!"

Guderian: "Oh my, can't you tell my age by my face? Anyway, I count as young in the academy compared to those tenured professors. Relationship history? Still single, but actually I..."

Xia Mi interrupts sharply: "What is your title?"

Guderian: "Associate... Associate... Professor."

All female guests turn off their lights. Fingal is baffled: "Why? The Professor is a good man!"

Xia Mi: "Well, let me use the human common sense thinking I learned from lurking for many years to explain: 'Still an associate professor at this age, absolutely no future'! As the saying goes, 'Better to cry in a professor's arms than laugh beside an associate professor'!"

Fingal facepalms: "Where did you hear that weird common sense... Forget it, next guest!"

The third guest needs no introduction. He is Caesar Gattuso. Wearing a custom-made full Versace suit, he conquers the entire audience with his majestic and dashing aura as soon as he appears. But the moment he comes up, he starts confessing to Nono, a long-winded and endless speech. All the minions of the Cassell Student Union are on the side throwing rose petals and playing a piano quartet background music. The two hosts couldn't get a word in for a full ten minutes...

Finally, Nono can't take it anymore and personally kicks him out.

Fingal quickly applauds: "Let's cut back to the main topic! Please welcome male guest number 4!"

(The elevator slowly descends, first revealing the male guest's black trousers and leather shoes.)

"What a low-key outfit!" Fingal turns to the cameraman. "Male guest number 4's outfit is very simple, completely different from number 3 just now!"

"Yes, male guest number 3's full Versace left a deep impression on the audience. I especially liked his black leather pants and sapphire blue shirt." Principal Angers nods slightly from the commentary booth.

"Only a frivolous playboy like you would be interested in leather pants and sapphire blue shirts! The point is his platinum Patek Philippe watch!" The Vice Principal interrupts the Principal rudely.

"But low-key is a display of strength!" Fingal tries to encourage the audience's enthusiasm. "Maybe what comes next will be a royal standard custom jacket! Didn't Prince William wear such plain trousers when he got married? But the upper body was the magnificent red uniform of the Irish Guards! That cool! That awesome! Explodes!"

"Then next should be a balding head," Xia Mi says happily.

(Author's Note: The once handsome Prince William unfortunately went bald early, but it seems to be hereditary from his dad, nothing can be done)

"Get lost! Don't tell me it's Professor Manstein today! It will affect the ratings! At this critical moment of our first print run of 650,000 aiming for 1 million nationwide sales, God bless me with a handsome guy to boost popularity!" Fingal rages.

In the audience, Professor Manstein raises his hand with a cold face: "I am here."

"Just joking with your name, don't take it seriously! Hahahaha! You wouldn't be so petty as to block my path to graduation, right? Hahahaha, you are so magnanimous, surely not. How did I not know you were in the audience?" Fingal says fawningly. "You are as bright as a light, the focus of attention wherever you go..."

Manstein: "Forget about graduation!"

Fingal (turns head): "Damn it! Why hasn't the male guest shown his face yet?"

Backstage supervisor Qilan: "Because you guys kept discussing his trousers, it wasn't convenient to show his whole body, so we stuck the elevator halfway."

Fingal: "Hehe, looks like the excitement is indeed in the upper body, unlike Caesar, a hero whose excitement starts from the lower body..."

Xia Mi: "I don't know why, but I feel the theme is becoming unsuitable for children..."

Fingal: "Unsuitable for children? Backstage! Let the male guest down! Let us see his full appearance! Whether it's a mule or a horse, bring it out for a walk!"

"It really is the Irish Guards red uniform!" Fingal screams in happiness. "Woah woah woah, so handsome, so dashing, my heart is beating like a drum. Male guest number 4 truly stuns upon appearance! Look at that golden sash and the reincarnation badge!"

"Hey! You got it wrong, right? Shouldn't I be the one screaming happily while you make sarcastic remarks?" Xia Mi smirks. "You're acting like a little fangirl seeing Leehom Wang!"

"Oh oh, my mistake. I was still immersed in the psychological suggestion that you are a tombstone, feeling I should shoulder the work of both the male and female hosts..." Fingal scratches his head in embarrassment. "Then you scream and I'll make sarcastic remarks..."

"Holy crap!" Xia Mi looks down. "Your scream was too perfect, I can't think of how to surpass it... I might as well make the sarcastic remarks. I say, what is this fashion sense? Are you Prince William? The material and workmanship look so knockoff! Men these days only know how to try to look cool, they don't know girls hate pretentious men the most, my my my... there are even signs of balding! Is he really a prince? Speaking of which, the proportion of hybrids in royalty is quite high... Wow, he even has a tattoo on top of his head, too sexy!" (Excited)

"Your contact lens prescription is wrong. He's just wearing a KFC family bucket on his head!"

Xia Mi (furious): "Holy crap! What is the backstage supervisor doing? My midnight snack should be sent to the dressing room! Why did you send the delivery boy up as a guest?"

Fingal (lowers voice): "That's right, your chicken leg burger has been delivered to the dressing room. This isn't a delivery boy, this is the mysterious figure active recently! Mr. KFC! Let's see the evaluation of Mr. KFC from the 12 female guests present... Oh... All lights out... May I ask the girls why they collectively turned off their lights for Mr. KFC?"

Female Guest No. 1 Nono: "Haven't you heard the old saying? If you don't lose weight in May, you'll be sad in June, sad in July, sad in August, sad in September! Please don't release this kind of male guest with extremely high fat content in this sad season, okay?"

Fingal: "Is October not sad?"

Xia Mi: "No knowledge! By then you can't wear spaghetti strap dresses anymore, so the fat won't be visible!"

Fingal: "Oh oh, maybe the male guest made a mistake in his outfit choice. Let's give the male guest another chance. Mr. KFC, did you eat KFC for dinner?"

Mr. KFC said something, but due to the obstruction of the family bucket, no one heard. Fingal leaned in to listen carefully and relayed the message: "Oh, he said he had orange juice salmon steak and Chardonnay paired with garlic seafood soup."

Fingal: "Lights on, give the female guests a chance to choose again! Oh! What a surprise, 10 female guests actually turned their lights on for Mr. KFC who rushed here after eating a high-class dinner! They are No. 1 Nono, No. 2 Zero, No. 3 Susie, No. 4 Chen Wenwen, No. 5 Liu Miaomiao, No. 6 Su Xiaoqiang, No. 7 Jiu De Mai... My god, and No. 8 Jiu De Yaji! Is this a family drama of two sisters fighting for one man? No. 9, please stop eating potato chips, what kind of occasion do you think this is? This is a dating show! And No. 10, what do you mean by also wearing a family bucket on your head? Makeup artist?! What the hell kind of makeup artist is this? Coming to a dating show with this look? No creativity at all, even if you want to go for the food style, you could balance a Pizza Hut plate on your head!"

Xia Mi: "It's the Three-No Girl who hasn't shown her face yet."

Fingal: "...Okay, okay, it looks like our Mr. KFC has hopes of becoming the dark horse of this program! 10 female guests are willing to get to know him better. Mr. KFC, how do you feel right now?"

Mr. KFC's voice still couldn't be heard by anyone. Fingal relayed again: "...He said he just wants to know who the two female guests are that turned off their lights. This experience is simply a stain on his life..."

One of the female guests, with plastic curlers in her hair and holding half an unfinished sweater, stood up openly: "It was me! What are you gonna do about it?!"

Fingal (applauds vigorously): "As expected of Lu Mingfei's Aunt, truly domineering!! But Student Tombstone, why would 'If You Are The One' admit an older auntie guest?"

Xia Mi smiles: "According to the director, because this is 'Cassell Academy Class Committee · If You Are The One', it's normal to admit some parents for observation and exchange..."

The Aunt waves her knitting needle with the majestic momentum of the Landlady from Kowloon Walled City: "Class Committee is Class Committee, why drag in 'If You Are The One'! Corrupting children!! If the director hadn't invited me so many times, I wouldn't have come! Your independent college is a crappy third-tier school, our Mingze wouldn't even look at it..."

Fingal interrupts: "Auntie, stick to the topic, why did you turn off his light?"

Auntie speaks righteously: "Does that even need saying? A meal with only a few pieces of fish, a bowl of soup, and half a glass of wine, is that reliable? Look at our Mingze, at least three family buckets, yes, the thing he has on his head."

Xia Mi (whispering): "Anyway, we didn't invite that guy who is 160cm tall and 160kg in weight to be a guest... Okay, then the other female guest, what is your reason for turning off the light?"

"Because that combination doesn't sound very reasonable. Mr. Francis, who taught me French cuisine, said that orange juice salmon steak should be paired with..." The female guest speaking is a beautiful lady in a silk nightgown, speaking elegantly and gently. The only problem is she looks like she hasn't woken up yet...

Lu Mingfei, who was kicked off stage, facepalms: "My aunt is one thing, I'm used to losing face at parent-teacher conferences, but how did they find Chu Zihang's mom too..." He completely failed to notice Susie snickering on the side; she has been engaging in roundabout tactics recently, and her relationship with her "future mother-in-law" is better than with her best friends.

Fingal interrupts the lady's sleep-talking-like French cuisine speech: "Hmm, let's move to the next segment. Mr. KFC, do you have any hobbies?"

Mr. KFC continues to whisper, and Fingal relays again: "Oh, he said he usually likes to play the cello, play basketball, and also likes to study various academic works to understand female psychology and fashion trends... Academic works?"

Xia Mi: "These hobbies sound very familiar, but who is it? I just can't recall... Why not ask for more personal details and let everyone guess who he really is?"

Fingal: "Isn't this a dating show? How did it turn into 'Guess Guess Guess'! Besides, as the mouthpiece, I actually already know the truth!! But looking at the stage, everyone seems quite interested in him..." He glanced at the excited female guests; sure enough, girls like men with a sense of mystery... "Then let's continue the hobbies segment! Oh, he said his idol is... and the anime he likes recently is 'Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion', because he really wants to learn Lelouch's technique of 'putting on two contact lenses instantly with one hand'. Also, he is very good at cooking, often using a meter-long knife to slice salmon quickly and ruthlessly. Of course, besides salmon, he is also very good at slicing other things..."

Xia Mi (cold sweat): "Sounds a lot like... that guy..."

But before she could finish, the lady in the silk nightgown had already pounced, ripping the family bucket off Mr. KFC: "Zihang! Zihang, why did you come on this kind of show too! How could my Zihang not find a partner! Is it because you don't like Mom's cooking? Mom works so hard and bitterly to cook every time, and even specially went to that expensive French culinary school, wasn't it all for you..."

"It really is that ruthless killer embryo, the monk-like noble son who will never get married in ten thousand years..." Xia 'Tombstone' Mi looks into the distance. "Seeing him makes my back hurt..."

Chu Zihang lets his mom hug his neck and cry. Always cold and calm, he is rarely this embarrassed: "This is a mission assigned by the Executive Department. They said if I disguise myself as that mysterious 'Mr. KFC' and participate in an entertainment show, maybe it will attract the attention of the person himself, allowing us to collect more intelligence on him..."

"What the hell, it's the Executive Department again! Wasn't it enough to make Zihang dress up as a pregnant woman last time? What do you guys want!" Susie gnashes her teeth, and Professor Guderian rises up in revolt.

"Schneider! You guy, you won't even spare a sacred dating show! Just because the 'Dragon Raja' manga drew you looking somewhat handsome, you're getting cocky! I'm not done with you regarding my lifelong happiness!!"

"I said it had nothing to do with me... Going home to play StarCraft." Lu Mingfei shrugs and tries to leave, but is caught by his Aunt, grabbed by the ear, and dragged back to fix the toilet. The other guests also scatter like birds and beasts. Xia Mi freezes for a moment, not knowing what to say, but as a tenth-grade senior sister with ten years of experience, she is experienced enough to wrap it up quickly: "So, the Cassell Class Committee with Dragon Race characteristics has come to a successful end! Did you feel the free-spirited yet serious and lively school atmosphere? What! Dating?! Holding hands?! Was there such a thing? Everyone is still a university student, studies should come first... Professor Guderian's twilight romance can be developed at the nearby senior activity center, hahahaha... Goodbye everyone!"