People are always discussing where love should be directed, yet rarely perceive that love itself is actually an ability that requires domestication.
When social media is flooded with the sentiment "You should love someone who is already whole," I say: a person who is already whole is actually harder to bring into an intimate relationship.
The lyrics may sing, "Consider it all a prelude to meeting you," but the reality is that no individual is born solely for another. That "already perfect lover" you speak of traveled a long road alone before meeting you.
Those solitary yet radiant days are independent ecosystems constructed from countless minute orders. It is only after experiencing endless confusion, anxiety, hardship, and emptiness that one finds such self-consistent peace.
The boundaries established by self-fulfillment are a responsibility to one's own life. The ability to be happy alone is rare and precious; it is precisely because of a reverence for sincerity that one often hesitates at the threshold of intimacy.
I sought answers in books, where he wrote: "My emotional obtuseness is like a house with its doors and windows tightly shut, Although the footsteps of love paced back and forth before the house, And I heard them, I felt they were merely passing by, Footsteps heading toward someone else. Until one day, those footsteps stopped here, And then the doorbell rang."
One day I was home alone, constantly anticipating the doorbell.
"The doorbell rang," and then what? ... I remain hesitant, remain confused.
I know the essence of intimacy is the collision of two orders of life. Therefore, love cannot simply be the edited highlight reels seen on social media; it is more likely a series of messy outtakes that are far from perfect.
But, my dear, do not be afraid, do not be afraid.
They say the connection between people isn't a downpour you can avoid by staying indoors. I didn't reach a happy ending with many people I once cherished, but I have never regretted stepping out that day and letting the rain dampen my hem.
Actually, you should understand: how could a truly stable self not accommodate an unexpected storm?
Perhaps there is no such thing as an "inherently perfect lover" in this world. The person you should love is simply someone who, amidst the interplay of light and shadow in human nature, consistently maintains an inertia toward goodness.
